Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Fantasy Christmas

Last night I was tired of studying and bored with Letterman, so I went shopping. An hour later, I did much damage and am now nearly done. I love the internet!

So today while driving home from work I started thinking about what I would get my blog friends if money (and reality) were no object. Some presents were easier than others, but here's what I came up with:

AJ: Free time, so he could write to us again.

Brighton: I don’t know—doesn’t she seem like one of the most together, happy women you’ve ever met? I mean, Travis has a job, she has him and the kids. I think perhaps she needs a round-about gift. I’d fire the fucknuts ruining her dad’s restaurant. Happy Holidays, Tricia.

Catt: A t-shirt that says, “They’re not mine!” and a housekeeper so she can put up her feet and relax.

E-Lo: Oodles of baby stuff! And a bunch of money so she could comfortably be a stay at home mom.

Gooch: Hmmm, does Gooch celebrate Christmas? Is he even one of us anymore? Dang. Oh, I know! An interior designer/decorator so he can stop dealing with the move and start paying attention to us again. (Yeah, it pretty much comes back to us no matter what, huh?)

Inanna: This one is personal and private. Sorry folks.

Jack: Honest-to-goodness bullet-proof clothing. I worry about that boy.

Jamie: Another private one. She can ask me. The rest of you just have to deal with it.

Jeanette: Complete health. Yeah, she knows what I’m talking about.

JP: Right now I’m thinking the boys need to get laid. Oh, and if his favorite sports teams could make it to whatever their respective championship games are, that would be cool too.

Julie: Death to the egotist, a heart-attack inducing event, and all the yarn she could ever want.

Katey: Many, many road-trips and Inner Peace (and a couple other things—Yeah, you’ve heard it before—they’re private)

Kerri: A good-paying job with benefits and an awesome retirement plan on the island for her husband.

Leese: Ok, I know this seems simplistic and uneventful, but this one might actually happen! I’d love to meet up at one of the tea rooms in San Francisco some Saturday afternoon for a girls day out. Just us. And maybe Varla if she’s free.

Lois Lane: Let’s see—there’s that thing we talked about, oh and that other thing, oh yeah, and that, too… Right, you don’t know what they are. Ok then, how bout this: May you never, ever have to run into PTA lady again, may your car never run out of gas, may your nipples never freeze and fall off your body, may your children grow up healthy and happy and well adjusted, may your mother and sisters all be healthy and safe, and would you fer cryin’ out loud get your fucking cell phone back already?!

Lynlee: Pack her and the kid up and move her out here. Yeah, that’s what I said.

Michael: A fantastic regular TV gig so he can give up the day job, do something he loves, and make a ton of money doing it. Oh, and a couple of trips to SF.

Mike: Hey Mike, just what *do* you want for Christmas? You’re a smartass, so I’m never sure… But it’s yours for the asking (just don’t go getting greedy there Mr. Asshat!).

Paul (No Milk): No-holds-barred weeklong excursion to San Francisco (and, you know, all points between if’n you feel like making the stops along the way).

Phoebe: I’m pretty sure she has what she wants right now.

Regan: I’d pay someone off to finish her graduate writing, then I’d pay for her wedding so she could invite ALL OF US!

Restless Angel: I think right now, a relocation would be welcomed. Either her or the man. Whichever. It’s your present!

Riz: A 3 month trip to the states (during our summer) so she could hang for a bit with all her favorite bloggers. Yeah, that’d rock!

Ryan: Unlimited supply of new camera equipment. Whatever you want, Hon.

Seamus: Personal & private. He knows.

Sloth: A shoe subscription. A new pair of shoes every week for a year. Just send me the bill.

Totsy: Oh, well, I’m actually making you a present. You’ll just have to wait. Sorry! No—wait—this is supposed to be fantasy presents. What would you like my leetle Tot? The world is at your disposal.

Varla: *POOF* Your degree is done! Now wasn’t that easy? Oh, wait, I feel another one coming… *POOF* Your studio is all set up. Hope you don’t mind, I just bought the building rather than renting space. Your darkroom is right over there, behind that door is the studio space for clients, and over on that side is a showroom. What’s upstairs? Oh, I’m glad you asked. That’s your 1600 square foot loft. You know, so you’re never late to “work”. (hee hee!)

Vince: Rock star fame and fortune! Well, maybe not fame. It sounds kinda rough. You decide though, it’s your gift. The fortune for sure.

Zaza: This one is for me. I love you

Zona: Unlimited trips to Arizona, anytime, any day, with anyone, for as long as you want to go.

And for all of us as a group, I wish I could rent out a hotel and host a week long party for our community of bloggers and our families. Wouldn’t that be awesome?!

Happy Holidays, everyone. I’m diving into finals now.

I’ll be back as soon as I can.