Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Get it Right or Shut the Fuck Up.

As an English major (and arguably a native speaker of the American version of the language), there are plenty of things that bug me about the way the general public uses (abuses) our language, but the three that irk me the most—I mean the three that crawl up my spine and make me want to run and scream and hurt people—are these (in order):

ORIENTATE. The word is orient. You can say oriented, or even disorient or disoriented. You can say reorient if you need to, but it’s starting to sound funny by now so why would you want to? There are no other acceptable affixes. Quit trying. It just makes you look stupid.

NUCULER. Nuclear. Get it right. Don’t fuck it up again. Just like it’s spelled: Noo-klee-ur. Sheesh.

IRREGARDLESS. Perhaps you’re thinking of “irrespective”? Not the same word, my friends. The “less” at the end of “regard” already negates it, no need for the “ir” at the beginning—that makes you look like you’ve never learned not to use double negatives; like you're not paying attention.

Ok, that is all for now. Please comply with the rules above now and forever.

Thank you.