Wednesday, October 05, 2005

One of my favorite singers/songwriters, a lovely man named Greg Brown, penned these words, “We Americans, we are so easy to please. A loaf of bread, a jug of wine… and fifty-thousand dollars.”

Lots of things have been making me think lately about the state of the world. Why is it that so many people are willing to die for an ideal? Or perhaps the real question should be, why is it so hard for the rest of us to understand that willingness?

There are very few people living in the US right now who can actually claim they’re living on ancestral land. I don’t presume to speak for them OR for the rest of us who can’t make those claims—I only speak for myself. I have no “homeland” where the very earth I tread is precious to me. I mean, not in a sense that I wouldn’t be willing to leave in the face of danger. If an earthquake, Richter scale 8, is predicted to hit Northern Cal in the next week, and that prediction is made with as much certainty as, say, a hurricane, you bet your ass I’d leave.

More to the point though, what I really don’t get, is that aside from catastrophic events, there are daily atrocities happening around the world, (think Gaza Strip) yet people refuse to leave. They stay because it is their home. And they’ll fight to the death, or commit suicide even, to protect something that’s just a concept.

Damnit. This isn’t coming out at all right. Basically I’m just wondering, in the face of all humanity, if we Americans are somehow lacking because we’re less willing to give up our lives for an ideal. Or if maybe we’re the smarter ones because we refuse to be gullible pawns to a religious agenda. Or if maybe there’s just no easy answer.


My mom is going to hear one of her favorite authors present a reading tonight and Eric has to work. He knew he was supposed to be with Em, Wednesday is his night to come for dinner. He never does anything bad on purpose, but at the same time, he also doesn’t do whatever might be required to keep the bad thing from happening (and I use the term “bad thing” very loosely here). Rather than confirming that he’d be off schedule tonight, he just assumed he would be since he usually is. But no—he was scheduled to work. In fact, it’s a permanent schedule change. Not his fault, for sure, but bad timing. And I can’t help but think if he’d been a little bit pro-active in ASKING for the night off, regardless of the “usual” schedule, we wouldn’t be in this bind right now. Em is coming to school with me tonight. I’m a little more apprehensive about it than she is—she’s very excited.


My desk is clean—that’s a frightening thought. It might signal the beginning of the end of my job. Keep your fingers crossed that’s not the case. This is the job I want. This is where I want to be. I’m a little nervous.


In light of my less-than-beautiful mood this morning (I’m not in a bad mood, just not overwhelmingly happy, you know?), I’d like to leave you with another guffaw, but alas, I am out of jokes right now.

I hope you have a lovely day anyway. Homework calls. I may be back tomorrow, but probably not until Friday.