Saturday, September 17, 2005

Open Letter

Dear ___,

I think it’s very courageous of you to make an decision which is unpopular when you know it’s the decision that is best for you, your partner, and your life.

It can be just as hard to say, “I’m not doing this anymore” as it was to start the thing in the first place. Congratulations for mustering up the courage and taking that step. And if you decide years down the line that you want to try it again, there’s nothing stopping you.

I never realized you had so many issues with your family (your father in particular), but the notion that you would do something simply to please them (him) obviously has deeply-rooted psychological underpinnings. I’m not qualified to or interested in looking at them, but I will remind you that the only person living your life is YOU.

The choices you make need to be based on your needs, not on someone else’s expectations—or worse, what you THINK someone else’s expectations are or might be.

As for the money, there are two issue there: the cost right now and the potential gain in the future. If the cost right now is more than you can reasonably handle, then there’s your answer. As for the future potential, there’s no guarantee that it will bear out the way you expect. Equally, there’s nothing that says following your dream WON’T turn out to be a fantastic financial benefit for you.

Again I say congratulations on a hard-won decision, and from a purely selfish standpoint, I’m going to miss you.

(P.S. I've been concerned about you--I can only imagine how you feel right now. I left messages on your blog, your cell phone, and your home phone but haven't heard back from you. Please let me know you're ok.)