Monday, September 13, 2004

Final Thoughts

Some things I didn’t address in the previous nine posts about this god-damned boring subject. I hope I get everything this time ‘cause I don’t want to go back again:

My ex-husband and his “new” girlfriend are still together. Going on five years for them now. I don’t want to sound trite or pissy, I’m really very happy for them. They’re better together than he and I ever were.

About the time I was leaving John, I found out Kate was ill. I’m not sure if I ever clarified that. She’s better now. Not totally healed; she has good days & bad, but more good. And at least we know it’s not lung cancer or something evil like that.

Eric is sort of a “Disney-Dad”; he gets to be around on birthdays & occasions and rarely has to deal with the day-to-day bullshit. That being said, I must also point out the following:

He was very young when she was born and is still young emotionally. Despite that, he works very hard at letting her know she is loved unconditionally. We can only work with the tools we have; he does the best he can.

He comes to dinner at least once a week, and that’s his night to do bath/teeth/books/bed. Even if she’s sick.

He usually comes over for a couple hours on the weekend (if we’re home) just to hang out with her. He takes her to the park, or out for a walk, or whatever.

He’ll take her for the weekend almost any time I ask for a weekend off, even if that means completely rearranging his schedule.

She has vomited on him and in his car more than once.

She has pooped on him more than once (and god bless him, the time she pooped on him and the Persian rug, he had the good sense to clean the rug before he cleaned himself).

When I make rules, he’s very consistent about enforcing them with me.

When he has to make rules, he and I are in agreement with our styles about 99% of the time (boy, you don’t find that very often!).

On the occasions when we disagree, he recognizes my role as the primary authority figure in her world and he supports my decisions. He has never undermined my authority with Emily. Thank God. Or I’d kill him.

His parents absolutely dote on her—as Kate says, they think she hung the moon.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m some sort of sad or pathetic person. I’m not. I’m happy and very well adjusted in my life. I’m afraid this long, long series of depressing posts may have led people to the wrong impression of me. All they are is a snapshot scene out of my life. It wasn’t a very happy time, but it’s over & I have Emily now. Truth be told, if I knew that’s what I’d have to do to get Emily, I’d still do it all again.

I am an outspoken, loudmouthed, bossy, argumentative, know-it-all, sassy, sexy, witty, charming, coy, shy, smart, silly, clumsy, intelligent, compassionate, graceful, easy-going, complex woman. But most of all, I am a content woman.