Thursday, June 24, 2004


"A yellow spot on the white of the eye, usually toward the inside (nose side) of the eye, associated with aging. It looks fatty (in Latin the word pinguiculus means fattish), and is due to an accumulation of connective tissue."

I have a pinguecula in my left eye. It just showed up about 3 weeks ago. It doesn’t hurt, but my eye waters a LOT every morning—like I have conjunctivitis. I don’t know if the watering is related to the growth or if I just suddenly got watery eyes. Go figure. I want it removed though. In the morning, because of the watering & associated rubbing, it makes my eye all red (again, like conjunctivitis—which I have to explain away at daycare EVERY DAY so my daughter won’t be sent home); by mid-morning, the redness has dissipated, but the growth itself is still a sort of yellowish color. It makes me look... unhealthy. I don’t like it.

Yet I read Shannon’s blog from last night and feel almost guilty for being so annoyed by such a comparatively innocuous thing. Oh sigh. Are we never happy with who we are? This is nothing. I'll have it removed. Would that Shannon could do the same with her rebel gene....

In the last 3 months, I’ve gained 15 lbs. I’m so pissed. It’s all related to the meds I was taking for a “surgical procedure” I had done 3 weeks ago. I was SO SURE that as soon as the procedure was done, the weight would just melt right off. But alas, that didn’t happen. I’m pissed! I’ve been a member of Weight Watchers 20 months and on a plateau (some of it real, some of it spawned by these damn meds) for the last 16 months. Yeah, that’s MONTHS. And now I’ve gone back up by 15 lbs. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? But suddenly I’ve gone from “I only have another 80 lbs to lose” (which is dang close to 75 and sounds *almost* reasonable) to, “I have 95 lbs to lose” (which is so close to 100 that it seems out of control!).

Argh. I’m just bitching this morning. As soon as the coffee kicks in and the watery-eyes stop, I’m sure I’ll be just fine. Going on another 5 mile walk tonight. That should help my mood. On the plus side, ‘cause I’m really looking for some positive here, I have managed to lose half a pound since Tuesday morning. But gawd it’s slow progress.

Ok. More later. Must work now. Caio. :)